this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize