Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
