she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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