This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
