i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
