and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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