she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
