I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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