just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
