I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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