Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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