My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
