Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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