yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i've created a new STD.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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