Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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