Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
