I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize