If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Found your dick twin last night
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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