The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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