WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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