yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
