I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
