I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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