No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
