My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
