rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
