You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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