My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I enjoy the company of your penis
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
