from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
