Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
