She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize