There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I want to be your penis for a week.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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