Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
