my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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