oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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