I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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