none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize