it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
