If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize