Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
