Someone shit on the floor
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
