Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
