he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
