can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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