Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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