OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
