If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
