Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
