id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
