I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
