Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
