you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You left your underwear on the fireplace
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
