So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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