Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She even gives head with a lisp.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
