I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
