Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
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