It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
