Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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