garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
