I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
im on a boat
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