sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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