There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
