I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
