HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
