Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
