she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
