Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
