So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
