You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
