she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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