Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
